Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize