i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize