So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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