Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize