Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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