these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
