Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
