All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
