mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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