im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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