mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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