Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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