come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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