i was rollin on her like bob the builder
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
