They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
