god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
