Already got asked if we're dating
that's an acceptable place to lick
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
