Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
