At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You took a bar mat shot.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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