I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
