i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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