Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
