I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
COCAINE IS GR8
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
