No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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