Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What drink are we having for lunch?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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