it's like iHOP with fire
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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