somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i permit you to call me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
