she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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