would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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