6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize