yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
