I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
