I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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