well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
