Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize