Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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