We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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