Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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