this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
