another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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