The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
