Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i out mim tonsoeep
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