Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
