Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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