what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
