a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Who did Billy Mays play for?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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