Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize