I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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