some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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