That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
