i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
