In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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