morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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