Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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