i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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