she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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