we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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