I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
