I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
