i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
